May 9, 2011

Counseling 101

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1. Be available. Windows of opportunity come unexpectedly.

2. If the opportunity to counsel came upon you suddenly, say a short prayer. Your prayer should focus on the Lord assisting the person; receiving an answer from the Lord; and the root issue is revealed.

3. They should speak more than you. Keep your comments short, simple, and to the point.

4. Allow the other person to tell their story – to share their heart.

5. Ask (appropriate) questions that help you understand the situation. It also helps them share all that is within their heart. The problem and answer may come together.

6. Focus on one issue (or as few as possible). Less is more.

7. Deal with the root. Many times when you allow someone to speak, the Lord will show you what the root is. There are times when you may need to focus on the symptom(s) of a problem, but don’t become so focused on the symptom(s) that you never get to the root.

8. Don’t try to force a change or decision. Plant, water, and wait for God (via the Holy Spirit) to bring the increase (see 1 Corinthians 3:5-10). If you force the Word (or a decision), you run the risk that it will not be planted on good soil (Matthew 13:1-23).

9. Be patient. Change does not always come immediately. (Our prayer is for immediate conviction/change.) Remember: God brings the increase, not you. You must be OK with planted or watering a seed and seeing no change right away. Continue to be a source of constant and consistent support and advice.

10. Conclude with a seed of action or change. Give the person something to step into or toward. It would be best if they came to this conclusion on their own (with some assistance from you). This seed may be one that is focused upon over several days or weeks. Conclude with prayer where possible. If you are unable to pray with the person, pray for them on your own.

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